fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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