Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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