I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
