HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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