Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
