yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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