Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
