I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
