Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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