Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
