how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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