Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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