There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
