I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
