After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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