I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
