all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
