South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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