So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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