she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
