everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
