dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
