I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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