I just threw up on my dentist
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize