I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
