did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
