I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's rum buckets o'clock
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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