I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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