and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
