Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
