somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
