I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
