ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize