just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
