upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
