Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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