Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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