There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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