Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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