am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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