my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need to calm my uterus...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
