So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
