return my video game
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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