also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
