guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
