question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
