I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
