I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
