Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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