My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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