Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
a search helicopter?!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
