Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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