I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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