I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
