I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
