She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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