She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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